A: I just found out that Debbie has fallen in love!
B: Really? When did that happen?
A: According to Helen, it has been a month. B: Come to think of it, no wonder she doesn't go window shopping with us on weekends no more*.
A: Man, I'm broke this week.
B: Why is that?
A: This new girl I started dating last week likes to eat and shop!
B: Hey, that's a given. You spend money on her before you can call her yours. Savvy?
Waiter: Good evening. My name is Ben and I am your server today.
Jane: Hi. It is my first time here. What would you recommend?
Waiter: Our special today is Garlic Roasted Pork Chop.
Jane: Hmm...I am not in the mood for pork chop today. Any other suggestions?
Waiter: There is always deliciously flavored "surf and turf".
A: I kept getting phone calls from telemarketers and con artists these days.
B: Really? Did you sign up for the "National Do-Not-Call List"?
A: I did, but those con artists always had their way!
B: Well, I tell you what, unplug your landline and shut off your cellphone, once and for all.
A: .........................(my girlfriend is gonna kill me if she can't find me.)
A: My wife wants to take out a life insurance policy on me.
B: What is the purpose of life insurance anyway?
A: To protect your family from financial burden in case you kick the bucket all of a sudden.
B: I see. I guess I need one too, otherwise, my wife and children would be in debt if I went belly-up now!
(美)
A: Hey, where is the 50 dollars you owed me that you said you're going to pay me back this week?
B: Oh, I am sorry, but I lost my job yesterday.
A: What happened?
B: They said I talk with my girlfriend too much on the phone. Here, can I pay you with my pegs and mudstopper?
(美)
A: There must be something wrong with me. I just had my lunch and now I am craving for some munchies.
B: Here, have some chips. Let's pile on some pounds together.
(美)
A: May I see your Driver's License, please?
B: Oh, I got pulled over last night. The police took my Driver's License. Is State ID okay?
A: That's fine. How much was the ticket?
B: 150 bucks!
１) 就是說嘛
(美)
A: Gosh! The gas price is outrageous!
B: Tell me about it. It used to cost me 50 dollars to fill the tank. Now I have to pay 80 to fill up.
A: O-ba-ma! O-ba-ma! O-ba-ma! O-ba-ma! O-ba-ma!........
B: Are you sure it's going to solve this problem just to vote for a president candidate that promises "change"?
２) 說來聽聽
(美)
A: Hey, how come you didn't pick up your phone last night?
B: I went to Linkin Park's concert in downtown.
A: Really? Really? I LOVE Linkin Park! Tell me about it! How was it?
(美)
A: Hey, watch out! You're speeding!
B: Don't worry. Cops only bust you at the end of month.
A: Says who? Look, there's a blueberries-and-cherries in the front.
A: What's going on? Everybody has a cheat sheet today!
B: Yeah, Mr. Thompson said we are allowed to bring one piece of letter-head sized cheat sheet.
A: I didn't know that! When did he say so?
B: Last week. You cut that class.
(美)
A: I heard that you and Denny had a fight about a hot girl that you guys met at a bar.
B: Don't worry. We're on good terms now.
A: Really? That's great!
B: Yeah, because I met another hotter chick in another bar the other night.
(美)
A: Jeff, I found some long blonde hair in the bathtub.
B: What are you talking about?
A: Jeff, look at me...are you cheating on me?
B: Of course not! Those are our neighbor Raymond's hair!
A: Raymond? Why did Raymond shower in our bathroom?
(美)
A: You really need to quit drinking. You are not only jeopardizing your health condition, but also your relationships with your loved ones! Think about your wife and your children!
B: Stay out of my business! I don't need your lessons!
(美)
A: Hey, how was your date with Roy last night?
B: Oh, cut me some slack, it seems like the whole town wants to know about it. Why?
A: Because everybody thinks you're the last person Roy would go out with.
B: .........
